just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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