your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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