He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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