16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
