I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
