I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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