Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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