but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
