Having a random hookup so left but love u
Soap is not a condiment
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
