Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
