i think my tv is drunk
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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