i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
