At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
