I will die if light touches me.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize