I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
