Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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