we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
