This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
