she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
3 2 1 whiskey
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
