The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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