Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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