these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
