She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
