Porn is love you can see.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there's paper in my vomit.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
