We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My ass is underappreciated
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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