i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
