And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
