He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
