What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
