; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
