i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
