Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize