So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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