I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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