walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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