i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
