somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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