I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
