she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
