Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
