all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
