Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
