i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
