All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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