I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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