Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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