She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
