stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
