I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't turn off my feet"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
is it fun? or sober?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
