Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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