I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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