is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
