Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize