so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
