I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She told me I should be a condom model.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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