you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
