i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
