I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
