just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
