My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
