if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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