apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
